8 and 18

The other night Travis and I sat down to watch Jon & Kate Plus 8. They launched the 1st episode of season 5…

I am sure most of you are familiar with the history of this family.. and how they ended up with their sextuplets 🙂

After the 1st year or two of the sextuplets lives they launched this reality show on TLC.

The show though I noticed went from good to bad very quick. I really enjoyed it at 1st… it was neat to see how a mom with so many toddlers/babies… got through the day. I enjoyed seeing how she was able to feed all these babies at once, put them to bed, deal with them while they were sick, etc… But after the 1st season or so you began to see a lot of changes. Focused a lot on how Kate talked to Jon… very disrespectful in my opinion… and how disconnected Jon seemed from her at many times… yet they seemed to always have a smile and work things out.

Until… Jon was caught out with another woman, without a wedding band… at 2am.
Many other things have surfaced as well.. Not sure whats true.. but what is true is that he used bad judgment and made very poor choices.

I do not think all of the blame should fall on Jon though.
Kate’s way of talking to Jon… the way she just insisted on this show going on… and so on… I think really hurt their marriage as well… if not more than the affair.

My husband has told me before how much feeling respected… appreciated… needed, means to him. If I walked around constantly ordering him around… belittling him, interrupting him, etc… Im sure there would be much resentment in our marriage.

But after the show I am just saddened for them… and yet again frustrated some on how they tell the world they are Christians… have church speaking engagements.. scripture around their home and incorporated into their public show….site… books and so on… yet now at this time when our faith would be the only thing to get us through this… they seem to be forgetting it.

On the show they both kept saying they were there for the kids… and that they are all that matters. BOTH OF THEM SAID THIS…

Sitting across from each other with their legs faced away (very clear body language)… they were both just very cold…. Neither one ever mentioned being in this for each other…

HELLOOOO Did you two not marry each other before having kids? Do you not remember those vows you made? Where in the vows did you say “Its all about the kids?We love our children and they are everything to us. But the Lord comes 1st, then my husband and THEN my children. That does not mean I love them any less… but if something is affecting my husband you better believe I will fight to fix it… even if it means my kids may lack in some other areas… like a big home, large birthday parties and fame.

I think if Kate stopped the book tour (that she keeps leaving the house for often, with a husband that obviously doesnt want to be a stay at home dad.. which I dont blame him… most men cant handle that)… she needs to STOP touring (this doesnt mean she cant write a book, right?? why do you have to tour?)… and they both need to seek counseling! There are so many wonderful christian counselors out there.. and I think if they saught those… and cut back the “show biz” to a degree.. that they’d be able to get through this.

I saw their old marriage videos.. and early year clips… and they were sooo in love and sweet… and… its just sad to see yet again the world, sin… ripping apart another marriage.

Ive read stories from a magazine called “Above Rubies” of women whos husbands cheat on them, go to strip joints…etc… yet the women remain faithful, PRAY and love their husbands despite their sin… seek counsel and have actually worked their way through these times… Grant it theres no PAPARAZI around… but I don’t think it be impossible for them to do… “We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.”

Should they stop the show?
You know… even my husband said this morning… They shouldnt. They should do the show and SHOW the good , the bad and the ugly… but also show how much work it will take to save a marriage! And that it isn’t impossible to come from this. And SO worth the fight.

So whats 8 and 18 for?

When I watched Jon & Kate you could see the spiritual warfare… selfishness… hurt…. going on in this home… the lack of spiritual leadership and unity…

When I watched the Duggars… a family of 18! (thats twice as many in the family than the Gosslins)… you see a family who focus’ their marriage… their behavior… everything off of the Word… and its so so evident… They have cameras around… Im sure they get paparazi.. I would be very surprised if in 5 years her husband is cheating on her… because I really believe that if you keep your focus on the Lord… NOT the children (not to say children shouldnt be A FOCUS… just not the MAIN one)… and that you communicate respectfully and well… set priorities… then things should be fine!

I think it would be just amazing to see Michele from the Duggars, contact Kate… counsel Kate… befriend her… something… I really believe Kate could grow a lot from a friendship with this mom… and that her marriage could be saved and not become another statistic… with the proper steps.

Ok.. this post is very long.. and I doubt many will read it 🙂 Im just rambling here…

I really do pray for this family though!
It is so sad…. and I am sure VERY HARD.
My heart goes out to both Kate and Jon… and I just pray the Lord heals their marriage…
This post is in no way meant to GOSSIP about them. In fact I HOPE they read it. I know both of them have a lot of hurt and anger… and by bringing out some of the points I did in this post… I hope it helps remind them what marriage is about….

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might
present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

Colossians 3:18-19

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

– 1 Peter 3:7

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

1 Peter 2:25-3:2, 3:7


About dreawood

32 Yr old Mom to 4 boys. Married to a former Cop who now Pastors a Evangelical church in SC. Professional Photographer and random blogger @ www.dreawood.com
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