So Ive been home from the hospital for 6 days now.
I must say its been a pretty hard adjustment for me.
Not so much with Taite… but with Caleb.
I really dont think Calebs behavior has a lot to do with the baby though. Some of it does… but I think the biggest adjustment has been with visitors and all the excitement of Christmas.
Caleb has been acting out SO badly since my parents arrived on Christmas Eve.
It been weeks since I had to spank Caleb… but in just a day Ive had to spank him atleast 5 times for terrible behavior… and it breaks my heart because I know a lot of this behavior is due to him being stressed with all the change.
I didnt have really any p.p depression with Caleb… but I can honestly say I think I have some with this one. A combination of sleep deprovation (even though Taite has been good at sleeping… its hard to sleep soundly when your having to pump in the middle of the night, feed a newborn, wash the pump, occasionally be awaken by a 2 yr old, etc..etc…), feelings of not being able to give Caleb the amount of attention I want to (—This has been the hardest!)… balancing schedules with Caleb and Taite… a tiny bit of body image adjustment (things dont exactly look cute after giving birth haha)… and I guess thats about it.
I find myself wanting to cry ALL the time it seems. I usually have my melt downs at night around Travis… I guess because I know he is there to comfort me… its almost like this overwelming feeling that you cant control… the tears just flow and flow.
If I am still like this in two weeks or so I may ask the Dr. if theres anything I can do… cause it really is controlling. You dont feel like yourself… Its almost like your just there… trying to manage things. Hard to describe.
Any how..
Advice to all pregnant women out there with toddlers… be prepared you may experience some of these very things I have experienced… I didnt expect to have these struggles… So I figured Id give some women out there warning š cause I wish I had known ahead of time to better prepare myself (if thats even possible).
Caleb wouldnt go to his class tonight at church either. He is MAJORLY clingy more so than usual. He cried and cried when I tried to leave him with his teacher… I ended up just staying with him in class. He was really upset.
On a funny note though…
Caleb discovered my breast pump haha…
Here he is showing the camera –
*click image for larger view* – Caleb w/ my breastpump
After seeing me pump Caleb would walk around my bedroom holding the pumps up to his chest saying “MY MILK!!!” haha
Check him out! – Caleb holding pumps up to chest
dreawood 
This is all so normal so go easy on yourself. If ever you need to just talk and be listened too email me and i will send you my phone number.Destinyxoceaianax66@hotmail.com
I just want to thank you for the good laugh. I’m having a really hard night as far as emotions go. Pregnancy hormones + my parents leaving and going back home = lots of crying! I’ve been bawlin and biting peoples heads off all night. Then I saw the picture of caleb with the pump up to his chest and just started rollin in laughter. Thank you! Caleb is just too adorable.
Too funny about Caleb with the breast pump!! That’ll be a funny picture for blackmail when he gets older! :)Hang in there with the p.p. depression… it’ll pass, as hard as it may be. At least you have your husband to comfort you – that’s so nice!
Hang in there. I went thru the baby blues with my first one, so we’ll see how I fair with the newest addition too. The photo of Caleb cracked me up. He’s really cute!
You are completely normal and don’t feel bad about feeling this way.I remember giving birth to my third and not wanting to come home from the hospital because I didn’t know how I was going to survive with all of them.But I did, and got through many meltdowns.and always remeber, God knows how much you can handle and did not give you this miracle to break you down in anyway. So when things seem to suck, at least you can remember that.hang in there, it gets better, believe meErin
I don’t have any baby experience (no kids of my own yet), but I do know God is always in control and He would never give you a task He knew you couldn’t handle. I have been through depression before (although not baby related) and it’s tough, especially when all you want to do is sleep. But I got through it with God’s help and I know you can get through it too. One thing that always helped me was thanking God each day for the blessings in my life and I always felt better afterwards. I hope this helps. Hang in there, girl and Congrats on the new arrival! š
Cut yourself some slack! You have some strikes against you that you didn’t have when Caleb was born.1: A Toddler2: Christmas 3: Company for the holdiays(& baby)4: No time for Naps (see 1)All of the above things are stressful at the best of time; Add HORMONES our of whack and you have EMOTIONS hard to control. Know it’s normal – and be thankful to have a husband that will let you vent (meltdown) in front of him.Things will improve I PROMISE – but until things settle down remember it is normal and that you don’t need yourself beating up on you.
Congrats Drea! Enjoy. He’s adorable. The second is much harder. I don’t think you really get to experience motherhood to it’s fullest until you have #2. Relax. After 3 months it will be much easier. Happy New Year!
Everything Caleb is doing is normal. I know that you said you don’t think it’s because of Taite, but it might be. Coupled with all the excitment of the holiday and I’m sure the problem is compounded. When I went through this with Bunny, her doctor told me that she had a big challenge in front of her. Kids at this age are still defining themselves in terms of who they are in their families. Caleb had always been numero uno- so that’s his whole identity. Now, there is someone else who is sharing the attention. He’s no longer and only child and he has to redefine where he stands. This is a really complex thing for a toddler to go through. He is also at a normal “testing” age. Even though you’ve presented Taite in a really great way, and even though he may be overjoyed to have a little brother- it is still hard for him because he doesn’t know exactly where he stands. Even though you do and probably feel as though you’re reassuring him tons- all he knows is that things have changed, the changes are big and they are forever.I know that people all disapline in their own ways, so you can take this advice or not and I won’t be offended. Maybe, for now, spanking for misbehavior isn’t such a great idea. Maybe instead, when he is being really bad, really testing you or not listening- you can grab him, hold him, tell him how much you love him and how you know that this behavior isn’t what he normally does and that you realize that he knows it’s unacceptable. It might not be a bad idea to leave Taite for a few hours and go out with Caleb by yourselves. Just have a little mommy and Caleb time so that he knows he can still have your undivided attention from time to time. These things may seem small, but they’ll impact how secure he feels. Being that he may be acting out because he feels insecure, it might really help.I hope that I haven’t overstepped any boundaries. I certainly don’t want you to feel like I’m telling you what to do… but I’ve been where you are right now and these are the things that helped us the most.Good luck to you!
i feel that i must write this having read your post on hitting your child. i feel very passionately about this. at the end of the day it is my opinion. i don’t doubt that you love and care for your child, but you may not like what i write. maybe it’s a little different in the usa, a country where violence is so prevelant and sensationalised in many tv programms, however in my country spanking a child is illegal and a form of abuse. i find it appalling that you as an adult and supposed christian believe that hitting your child is a way to tame, reprimand or discipline your child. you are in fact teaching him that it is ok to strike another person in frustration at that person’s behaviour. maybe you could say this is none of my business but i believe it is for 2 reasons. a) you put it out there and b) your child is too young to understand to be his own advocate.i sincerely hope i have not added to your p.p depression, low esteem issues but hopefully i have just given you something to think about.
~ Id like to reply to everyones comments but right now I dont have the time. Its 2AM and im pumping.. so I dont really want to stay up long commenting :-)Any how. I did want to respond to this anonymous poster.I appreciate your concern but I do not HIT my child or ABUSE my child.There is a HUGE difference in a spankin’ and hitting.As a christian I am doing what is BIBLICAL in disciplining my child.Have you not read the verse that say “Spare the rod, hate the child?”God is very clear on this.When I spank Caleb it is not in a violent way. I do not snatch him up and hit him.I 1st give him a warning such as …”Caleb do not throw your toys in the toilet.” (just an example)If he then ignores my warning and does it any way I will spank him.After he is spanked we sit down (each and every time)and talk.I will explain to him how his behavior was unacceptable and that he disobeyed Mama.And how he has to listen and obey when I tell him something.He then will tell me one of two things “okay mama…” or “yes mama” and then APOLOGIZES and afterwards we huge and kiss and he is perfectly fine and the behavior has ended.I believer firmly in this.You may not.That is your own opinion and you can do whatever you want when it comes to raising your children.But to acuse someone of “abuse” is pretty harsh. Especially when you dont see or know what is done.I was spanked as a childMy husband was spanked as a childNeither one of us felt abused or hurt by our parents. If anything I am grateful my parents cared enough to discipline me in this way. I was not a child who was off the walls and disrespectful like so many children I see these days.Travis was a very proper young man as a child. His dad kept him in line very well.Also Caleb is not to young to understand. He is very aware of his actions and when he does something wrong.Some days I will catch him looking to see if I am around so he can do something he knows is wrong.He is VERY aware when he is doing something he shouldnt.Any how.I could go on and on… but to be honest Im really tired right now and may say something wrong haha.Not to mention my newborn just woke up and needs to be fed.If you want to say more though Id appreciate it if you wouldnt call me “a child abuser” any more. Thanks.And no you havent added to any depression or insecurity of mine. I wont loose any sleep over it.
~ Mamaholler,I wanted to reply to you as a pump again HAHA. All my blog time is spent pumping these days.Thanks for your comment š it really meant a lot. You sincerely seem to care.I have been thinking about taking Caleb out by myself soon.Ive held off though just because I was ordered not to carry Caleb because he is over 30 lbs. The Dr. was real firm about this. So the most I have picked Caleb up since being home is on the toilet. To go out with him I’d probably end up having to carry him a lot more. Like lifting him into a cart, or if he threw any kind of fit… Id have to hold him, etc..etc..So Im trying to hold off on any long adventures with him for atleast another week or so.Just to be safe.Today though since Im not to tired and my parents wont be around (they are still in town but are going to do their own thing today) I may take Caleb to the Library to get a movie and play w/ the puzzles he loves. Plus go to the dollar store to grab some dish soap (all out!)He was great yesterday though!And today hes been pretty good.I think he is finally beginning to adjust to things.Yippie!Got to go though. Almost done here then I need to get some house work done.Thanks again!And thanks everyone else who commented. Id love to reply to everyone but my time is limited these days.
Hi Drea!I have been reading your post for a few weeks now, I found it through the cheatymonkey blog. I have a 15 month old and another one due in May, so I am eager to hear all about your experiences of having a toddler and and infant. I just had one comment that I wanted to leave with you. We have not decided whether we will spank or not as we haven’t yet been presented with the opportunity(he probably needs to get a little older)!! However, I am a Christian and have learned through parenting classes and religious philosophy that “Spare the rod and spoil the child” is a very misused reason to use spanking. In Biblical times, sheperds used rods to guide there sheep to where they needed to go, never to hit them. The direct translation would be that as parents we should guide our children and to not do that would cause the child to be spoiled. Just wanted to give you a little something to think about. Like I said, we have not made the decision yet, but that verse in the bible is something that I have thought about often.Hope all goes better in the next few weeks, I remember those hormonal highs and lows after birth. Just remember to go with each feeling. If you need to cry it out, do it! It’ll get better!Julie
Julie,I’ve heard other people make your assertion that shepherds never used their rods to strike their sheep. However, I would encourage you to take a close look at Psalm 23. Notice that in verse 4, the Shepherd carries both a rod and a staff (two different Hebrew words – its possible that they refer to a single instrument with a dual function wielded by the Shepherd or two separate instruments). Either way, a survey of the usage of these terms in the context of Psalm 23 and through out the Old Testament is revealing. While staffs were used to guide, rods were in fact used as instruments of punishment, correction, discipline or instruction. (See Proverbs 23:13-14 in particular.)Also, please note that the saying “Spare the rod and spoil the child” (which I have heard from the mouths of many professing Christians) is not found in the Bible. Proverbs 13:24 states “He who spares his rod hates his [child], But he who loves his [child] disciplines him promptly.” If I understand the verse as a father, sparing the rod is not about spoiling my children, its about my failing to love them as I should. I do not believe that a child should be spanked in ever instance of wrong doing. However, I fear that parents who do not spank their children are doing them a grave disservice – they are not fully communicating the harsh reality of life that some choices that we make lead to bad consequences. As a child, I was spanked consistently by my parents and I can’t thank them enough. The healthy fear that I had of being on the receiving end of dad’s belt kept me out of a whole host of trouble that befell many of my friends and peers.As much as I would prefer to simply sit down and reason with my own two year old every time he’s being repeatedly disobedient, stubborn, unreasonable, and not to mention endangering his life for the fourth time in as many minutes while staring at me like I’m speaking a foreign language when I ask him to “Stop”, controlled, external force in the form of a spanking always seems to be a form of communication that he can comprehend. Drea, remain steadfast in your discipline of Caleb. He’ll be thanking you for it one day.Stan
~ Stan,:-) I think I know which Stan this is… haha I only know ONE Stan.Thanks for the comment! It was not only nice for me to read and learn from but I’m sure to others as well!